A Poor Solution

Ladies and Gentlemen, I've done it!! I've solved a problem that even Jesus couldn't.

He is quoted as saying "The poor will be with you always".

But I, your humble correspondent, have solved the problem of poverty here in America.

According to the latest government statistics, family of four with two children making less than $20,445 is poor.

By now you know I like to do the math to see a solution.

First, we must make a logical assumption. Since two of the members of the family are children, it stands to reason that the other two are work age adults. Let's assume these adults are not physically infirm and have enough IQ to pour piss out of a boot if the instructions are on the heel.

So let's give our notational adults jobs.

They didn't graduate high school, so let's make them burger flippers at WenDonaldKing.

Let's pay our fictional adults $8/ hour, with a net of $6/hour.

If our adults just work 40 hours a week, no overtime, that gives our fictional family a net income of $480 per week. ($6x40x2=$480)

Now, we don't want to deprive our family of stress relief, we'll have them take two weeks off per year.

So, if they work 50 weeks per year, their net income is $24,000 each year. ($480x50=$24,000)

Notice that I'm using net figures, not gross. I don't know if the census bureau was talking about using net or gross, so I decided to err on the side of caution.

And also notice that If the parents just work full time at a very low paying job, that family is no longer in poverty. ($24,000>$20,445)

IE if you don't want to be poor, GET A JOB!!

If we add in all the benefits that are given, that family is now rapidly approaching middle class.

If you choose to just take the benefits, and not work full time, then YOUR POVERTY IS YOUR FAULT, NOT MINE.

I chose to get an education, and I choose to provide well for my family. I average not 40 hours per week, but 60. And my tax bill shows that I paid more than enough to totally support out fictional family. Add in thenakedempress's compulsory cash, and the two of us are supporting 5 or 6 people by ourselves.

I don't mind being generous, it's just that when it's forced on you it's hardly sincere. And being a southerner and old fashioned, I do expect some manners. Why couldn't the people I support send a thank you note? Or come by and wash a dish?

To sum up. If you just work at a menial job, you won't be in poverty. And it's your life, not mine. I've made my decisions. Go to work, and you won't be poor. Keep being a leech on the arse of good people, and you'll be poor. It's up to you.

Logically, I've now found the solution for poverty here in America. Yes, I know that it may be blasphemous to claim to have done what the Christ said couldn't. And I know that there are a few ways my solution will go wrong. As they say, God is in the details. Maybe I'll have to get religion after all, once the comments start.

Until later,

thenakedemperor