The Naked Emperor

30 October 2004

The Mosquito Epiphany

The Mosquito Epiphany

Last night the latest Osama bin Laden video, so close to the election, was on my mind. I went outside to have a cigarette, and was promptly bitten by a mosquito. Then It hit me. Maybe not a lightning bolt epephany, but a strong light bulb type.

Living in Louisiana, I�m quite familiar with mosquitos. We even have t-shirts naming them the state bird.

Mosquitos are very annoying little insects. They sting and cause pain. They can drive you crazy if you get caught in a swarm of them. If you throw in malaria, yellow fever, and west nile virus, mosquitos can even be fatal.

Terrorists are mosquitos. Osama bin Laden is a mosquito. Nothing more and nothing less.

Mosquitos cause inflict misery on larger creatures totally disproportioate to their size. You can see one ton bulls running from mosquitos. Same with terrorists. See Spain. See Spain run. Run Spain Run.

Unless disease is transmitted, a single mosquito bite shouldn�t be fatal. Just like a single terrorist attack shouldn�t be fatal. 9/11 was the worst attack in history. But it was hardly fatal. 3000 of our countrymen died. But remember, that many are killed in traffic accidents every month. And medical mistakes account for that many every ten days. Do we panic and throw out our leaders?

And what about the obsession with OBL? When I am bitten by a mosquito, I don�t obsess on killing that one mosquito. Sure, I want him dead. But my main goal is to not be bitten again. Most people grab a can of bug spray and declare war on all nearby mosquitos. Their own war on terror.

Me being a bloodthirsty redneck, I go one better. The bug zapper out back goes on. Little is as satisfying as that sizzle and pop.

If I obsessed over the mosquito that bit me, I wouldn�t have time to turn on the zapper. The goal is safety, not vengence.

So to handle mosquitos, you can run away. You can try to kill the one that bit you , ingoring all others that are about to bite you, or apply repellat to yourself so that you are less attractive. This is the �bite someone else� tactic. You can use the spray or a zapper to eliminate all mosquitos in a small area. Or if you�re really serions, you can get rid of all standing water in a large area, thus eliminating mosquito breeding areas and drastically decreasing the population of mosquitos. The same tactics and strategies apply to terrorists.

Some countries use the run away approach. Again, see Spain.

Focusing on the one that got you is the Kerry approach. Just OBL, other terrorists are not our problem.

Others use the repellant approach. But we�re French! We haven�t met an arab ass we haven�t kissed yet!

The Israeli�s use the zapper approach. They live deep in the terrorist swamp, and it�s the most effective approach for them. If they can ID the target as a terrorist, they zap him. No muss, no fuss.

George Bush has chosen the �Drain the swamp� approach, thus protecting not only this country or a small area, but a large number of countries. When you start draining a swamp, it�s hand going. All the mosquitos in the swamp will try to bite you. You must tactically kill them while strategically eliminating their breeding ground.

Remember tactics is going up to the farmer every morning when he�s done milking, and kicking over the bucket of milk. A strategy is when you shoot the cow.

President Bush has chosen the only long term strategy that will work. And that strategy will BE work. Just remember that Mr. Kerry�s criticisms and �I have a plan� are tactics, not a coherent strategy.

But if we drain the terrorist swamp, and light the torch of freedom and porsperity, very few terrorists can grow in that environment.

Next week, I�ll compare the upcoming many electoral challenges to boiled crayfish. or maybe gumbo.

The Naked Emperor


At October 31, 2004 at 10:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...




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