The Naked Emperor

23 June 2008

The Technicolor Candidate

OK, the preemptive race card has been played.

On Friday, Barak Obama said "They’re going to try to make you afraid of me. He’s young and inexperienced and he’s got a funny name. And did I mention he’s black?”

So, if you decide to vote for anyone else, you're a racist.

As I said a couple of days ago, I'm going to very reluctantly vote for McCain, so I guess this applies to me.

But how?

OK, so he's black. But according to the environmentalists, he's also very green. And his handlers would have you believe that Obama's past is as pure white as the driven snow. When he's talked about international affairs, Obama occasionally tries to prove he's not yellow. A couple of his associates used to be, and some think still are, very red. Obama's economics also seem to drive me into the, and make me see, red. He's supported by Code Pink. All of this makes me rather blue.

Frankly, Obama's more colors than my first box of Crayons. Hell that's more colors than my first computer had.

And if I'm racist which one of his colors am I alleged to be opposed to?

For me, it's the yellow, red, green and pink that frighten me. Those colors are an ugly combo. That's why I don't golf, so I won't have to wear pants with that combo.

The yellow/red/green/pink combo is so objectionable that I wouldn't ever vote for him if he bled purple and gold (Geaux Tigers!)

If this has convinced you, orange you glad you read it? And if not, I'm sorry I blue it.


21 June 2008

Delightful Failure

OK, I've tried writing three different blogs today, and got nothing. They were preachy, and about as funny as used Depends. I wanted to write something about the environment, but kept failing.

Recently, I've become quite the fan of Theo Spark's posts over at Last of the Few. He had posted a few videos by Jeremy Clarkson, Brit auto critic. Clarkson's documentaries about Brunel and the St. Nazaire Raid are very well done. But his best is his biting wit about cars. I saw the following video, and realized that I could never be so eloquent. Tonight, Clarkson speaks for me.


UPDATE - Holy Poop, one case of writers block, and one smartass comment on Pajamas Media, and the hit counters go WILD!!

19 June 2008

2008, Straight Up with a Twist

We are now well and truly into the 2008 Presidential election. And I'm depressed.

We're down to only two candidates who will be our next President. I'm not going to talk about the third party candidates, except to bring to your attention one statistic. 3 of 4 people with severe mental disorders are living below the poverty line. The other 1 of 4 is apparently running for national office. Bob Barr? Cynthia McKinney? Nader? If any of these clowns get in, either they must be medicated, or we will.

So I have to pick one of the two major party candidates. Damn.

Back in college, "major party" was sooo much more fun.

We have McCain. OK, I admire his military service and his determination. And I think he's right on the war. But he's bought into the "man-made global warming" kool-aid despite logic, reason, and oh, scientific evidence.

He thinks we should reward illegals for breaking the law. (What's next, free gas for DUI's?) His ethics have been questionable at best.

He may not be the candidate from hell, but damn close. Maybe the candidate from Newark. The only way I'll vote for him is if he's up against the candidate from hell.

Which brings us to Obama. Charismatic, but pretty much a standard Chicago/Daly machine politician.

Don't get me wrong, I like Chicago politics. Growing up in New Orleans, we all knew we had a lot of Zombie voters. The undead vote early and often. And Chicago is about the only place that's worse. Our only sense of pride in Louisiana elections was "At least we're not as bad as Chicago.

Obama changes positions more often than most folks change socks. And it's our fault if we think he's lying, it's just that us rubes don't understand "Nuance". Sorry, Senator. But I calls 'em as I sees 'em. "Nuance" sounds like a sophisticated way to say "I'm full of shit".

And those positions he's firm on are pretty much failed things from the past. Windfall profits tax? Tried that, failed utterly. Made things worse. Surrender to terrorists? We first tried that in the 1790's with, dare I say, Muslim terrorists and kidnappers. Led to the Tripolitan war, 1801-1804. We kicked the muslims ass, and they left us alone for a while. See Marine Hymn, "Shores of Tripoli", Battle of Derna, etc.

Tax our way to prosperity? Done that. Give the Europeans veto over how we lead our lives? Did that for a couple of hundred years. It seems Americans chafed at that, and defeated the worlds only superpower. Little thing called the American Revolution. Look it up sometime, should be in a grammar school history book.

And he has so little experience, he may actually believe his own PR.

OK, O'bama IS the candidate from hell. So I'll reluctantly pull the lever for McCain. but I'll hold my nose while doing it, and wash well immediately afterward.

Right now O'bama seems to be leading. Why?

Well the American voters are "pleading for change".

Pardon me, but I must have missed a memo.

Just when did the American People go from being proudly self reliant to unwashed downtrodden, holding a tin cup and pleading for change?

And if We as a People did, I can assure you that I, and most of my neighbors have not. I am no beggar asking my betters for alms. Besides, I hate metallic stemware.

No, I am a Man. I rely on my own abilities. I worked my arse off to get an education, when almost all my family and friends thought I couldn't do it. Sure, I was helped by a few great professors, vets, and encouraging friends. And I got loans to pay for it, I'm still paying for it.

Crime? I have a concealed handgun permit, and will carry if the situation requires. And shoot as needed. The bad guys may kill me, but they'll know they've been in a fight. I'll call the cops as soon as it's over.

Health Care? I've had my own health insurance since '91. I pay for it, myself. I made the CHOICE to have coverage. I didn't sit around and whine for it.

"But the cost!" I hear you cry. That's why I got an education. So I could earn enough, not "be given" enough, but earn enough to take care of my family.

Taxes? I play by the rules, pay what they say I owe so Big Government goons won't ckuck me in jail or take away my house. And I pay an accountant well to see that I don't have to pay more.

No, I take care of my family's needs. That's what a Man does.

I refuse to turn important decisions over to some Government bureaucrat to make for me. If I chose that route, at best I'd be some beggar boy in a government workhouse.

And I'm sure I'd be beaten for having a set of balls enough to say, politely, "Please Sir, Can I have some more?"

With apologies to Dickens and Oliver Twist.


14 June 2008

A Saturday Night Treat

Well, if you've been keeping up with the surgery saga, all is well. But I've been housebound since Tuesday. The knee is feeling better than it did before the scope, but I'm still a bit leery of doing too much. Hell, I haven't even seen the PT yet.

And I've been behaving myself. Thenakedempress hasn't grabbed a weapon or my Vicodin, or even threatened to.

So it was time to reward her, and myself, and break my confinement.

So we went out to supper at La Carreta's in Amite.

(Click on pics to enlarge)

They have always had good food, and decent service.

But that wasn't the only reason. It was a pleasant summer evening, and we would dine outside. Why? Because Greg Hayden was playing on the patio.

While Greg does mostly original music, he does do the occasional cover. A Van Morrison, one Allman Bros. and a folk song I've only heard from Greg. And while Greg really seems to enjoy playing "Folsom Prison Blues", one of his younger fans couldn't help but dance to the Eagles "Peaceful Easy Feeling".

They also played most of their best, including "Leave It All Behind " from their "Directions" CD, and "Click Your Heels" from the upcoming CD. "Click Your Heels" is such an engaging song that I think I can now sing, well, mutilate the chorus along with the band, even though I've only heard it a couple of times. Sadly, I didn't get to hear one of my favorites, "Dignity".

Gradually the sun set. Good food, good company, and good music. That equals a great evening.

I strongly encourage you to get his CD, or, even better, go see Greg and the boys sometime.

The Naked Emperor

Unprotected Politics

Yesterday, those paragons of virtue, the UN Human Rights Council, said the Brits should "consider" scrapping the monarchy.

Amazingly, the Brits, arguably one of the most free peoples on the planet, have shown little inclination for this.

It seems that the Brit's UN critics know better.

Syria, who loves to support wanton murder and terrorism, and assassinates foreign leaders it disagrees with, says the UK is "discriminating" against muslims. Oh, just because they don't want to clean up any more bodies from a 7/7 attack repeat?

And Iran accused the Brits of "sexual discrimination". What, the same theocracy that preaches that women are second class and thinks sexual mutilation is acceptable? See the Koran and Haditha for further details.

Mostly Cajun had a good response here.

My own, southern American response? F&*K THAT!

And to translate for my Brit readers: Sod Off, UN!

Politics is a lot like sex.

If you have unprotected politics, you should at least know when to pull out.

The Naked Emperor

13 June 2008

White Coat and Pink Crustacean

I really don't know what my readers think.

Do they think I have talent, or are they just trying to shut me up?

Anyway, one of them sent me this.

You've just got to read it before we go on.

Is this a gauntlet thrown before me, or a "Go ahead, I dare you?".

Well, impetuosity has always been one of my failings, there just aren't enough windmills to tilt at.

My first reaction to the article was "Are they friggin NUTS?". C'mon, nakedemperor, press the clutch, and move the gearshift from emotion over to brain, and THINK.

I did a bit of research. I frankly didn't know much about lobsters.

You see, we just don't think about them down here.

To us, a lobster is just a crayfish on steroids, and poorly prepared. I mean, you just boil it? In salty water, with maybe a touch of lemon? And you just serve it with a little butter? How bland can you get? This is like a mayonnaise sandwich on white bread. Kind of the "Bob Dole" of suppers. And you want to charge me WHAT for that? Now, if you boiled it in some Zatarain's, maybe you'd have something.

I learned about the diet of lobster. They eat "mainly fresh food which includes fish, crabs, clams, mussels, sea urchins, and sometimes even other lobsters!". This data is from NOAA.

OK, PETA, I'll (pardon the pun) bite. I'll go along with your assumption that boiling a lobster is cruel, for the sake of argument.

Let's face it, a lobster cruelty museum ain't worth spit if you haven't got any, oh, lobsters. So you'll have to keep some lobsters in nice, eco-friendly conditions. But what will they eat?

All research points to the fact that lobsters don't like soy/wheat germ/bean curd protein shakes. You'll have to feed them their natural diet. Which means they'll be using those allegedly tasty claws to rip apart the above fish and shellfish before chowing down.

Pardon me, but is being shredded by huge pincers less cruel than boiling? You'll be subjecting the lobster's prey (it's called predation, don't ya know?) to cruel torture just for your own political ends.

Oh, those rubber band thingies? Those are used because they EAT EACH OTHER!!

And to prove your point, you'll be subjecting humans to what you believe is cruelty and I presume, charging for it. Kind of kinky. And illegal in most states.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but if I'm a masochist who's willing to pay, there's no way in hell I'll be going to your "museum" I'd just as soon have my torturer be a redhead wearing leather. Maybe a congressman could recommend one for me.

So that's the Pink Crustacean. And the White Coat?

I have several. And I recommend that PETA get some, but cut a bit differently.

We have a prima fascia case here for deep delusions and self loathing, if not worse.

My white coats button in front. I think yours should tie in back.

The Naked Emperor

11 June 2008

John Fleming, 4th LA

A couple of weeks ago I got a comment from someone on one of my posts. He left a phone number, and I was intrigued. ( I deleted the post in the interest of privacy )

He was some sort of campaign consultant out of Ohio, doing blogger "outreach".

How he came up with me, I have no clue. I haven't been the most consistent blogger, and certainly haven't got the biggest audience.

See barrel, look deep, and here I am!

Anyway, we played phone tag a while and lost touch. But he had asked me to look at Dr. John Fleming of Minden, running for 4th LA.

Dr. Fleming's site is very professional, and, in some cases, very specific. There's money here. Hell he has enough to be able to pay people to find me!!

His positions are good, damn good.

He wants the Fairtax. Points in my book. He also realizes that Republicans didn't lose Congress, they threw it away by spending like drunken sailors and basically acting like Democrats. Fiscal conservative. Strong on the Second Amendment.

Dr. Fleming is most specific about illegal immigration. NO anchor babies!! I could have written the rest of that, it's so close to my views.

Navy vet. Thinks he can help health care since he's a Doc and knows the system from the inside, no just by holding showtrial "hearings". He also thinks he can straighten out the VA.

Dr. Fleming, if you want to get the VA up to snuff, it's easy. Just make it mandatory for elected federal officials to get THEIR health care from the VA. Do they deserve better than our bravest? This is a simple, elegant solution.

So far, I'm enthused about his candidacy.

As luck would have it, I also talked to a source in Minden about something else and decided to ask my source if there was any personal knowledge of Dr. Fleming.

OK, my source can be a bit opinionated.

The source has been to Dr. Fleming, and was not impressed. It was said the he doesn't touch his patients. Not good bedside at all. My source described him as a void surrounded by a sphincter.

Not good.

OK, here's the question. Is it better to have an ass who supports good legislation, or a nice guy who "feels your pain" while robbing you and continuing failed policies of the past?

I'm not in the 4th district. But if I were, I'd vote for Dr. Fleming.

If he's an ass, so what? I'm not asking to go fishing with him or out to dinner. I'm interviewing him to do a job.

He has a clear knowledge of the Constitution, and believes in it and living by it. He seems to have thought out good positions.

I just hope he keeps his word if he gets in, most of them don't.

The Naked Emperor

Sad Local News

It was said that the tree of Liberty must occasionally be watered with the blood of Patriots.

Last Sunday, our liberty was fed a bit more.

A local man, Cpl. Justin Mixon, was killed by an armor piercing IED in his vehicle. He was with the 1st Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment.

He is survived by his wife, Tia, and a son, Tony.

Cpl. Mixon was welcomed home in by police, fire, and anonymous well wishers along the route from Bogalusa, through Franklinton, to Friendship Baptist Church, just east of my house, where his father, Walter is Pastor.

He was laid to rest in the family cemetery on Hwy 16, just a bit east.

We didn't know him personally, but we ask that you keep him and his family in your thoughts.

To the family, we hope you know that we, as a community, are very proud of Justin, and deeply grateful for the sacrifice he, and you, made for our liberty.

with deepest thanks,

The Naked Emperor

(Thanks to the Amite Tangi Digest and Melissa Harrison for the source material)

The Truth About Dogs...And Cats

Well, I've been a bit too serious lately.

Last night, I couldn't sleep (no, NOT the knee, just insomnia), so I did a long overdue update to the site. OK, I was bored silly.

NOW - Updated Links!! NOW - 20% more Strangeness with 40% less drivel!! NOW - This Site is Guaranteed Zero cholesterol and Trans-Fat Free!! But Still the Same Great Taste!!

I do recommend the music links especially, we've go some great local talent.

As a Vet, I've noticed some strange things about our pets.

When we are younger, pets not only watch when their humans have "intimate relations", but actually hover like East German judges at the Olympics, waiting to mark you down.

As we age, this stops. They actually look disgusted and leave the room. This is your sign to throw out Bikinis and Speedos.

No matter how lightweight and dainty your pet, they can exert roughly the same ground pressure on each paw as a small mansion. This weight will be placed upon breasts, genitalia, or any sore spot you may have as they step on, run across, or lay on these areas. And at the worst possible moment.

Only dogs and middle managers stick their nose up somebody else's butt to see who their friends are.

No matter how expensive or gourmet the treat or food, three day old trash, roadkill, and cat shit will ALWAYS taste better to them.

The more recently they've had the above trash, roadkill, or cat shit, the more they want to lick your face.

Your cat will never love you in the afternoon when their beloved Mr. Sun is available.

Your dog loves you, it's an adoration relationship. With cats, it's more of a friendship based on common interest. Because you both love the cat.

I guess blogging about politicians makes me appreciate higher forms of life.

The Naked Emperor

10 June 2008

Pretty, but What Do They Mean?

While the drugs left my system this morning, a few apparently disconnected thoughts and quotes somehow fused in my mind, and gave me several ideas for essays. So with enforced stillness for the next few days, we may have some rich, if strange, fodder for the blog.

Somehow, the film "The Dirty Dozen" combined with Obama's speech claiming the nomination, and fused with Robert Heinlein. Either I'm really bloody strange, or it's the drugs.

Obama gave a very moving speech to claim the nomination. He had a great line near the end:

"This was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal".

My brain said, "Very pretty words."

That brought me to "The Dirty Dozen". In there, Donald Sutherland's character was faking being a general, inspecting some troops. His comment to their officer was "Very pretty. But can they fight?"

My brain went back to Obama's words. "Very pretty", I thought, "but what do they mean?".

When facing situations like this, I tend to rely on an old saying of Robert Heinlein:

"What are the facts? Again and again and again — what are the facts? Shun wishful thinking, ignore divine revelation, forget what "the stars foretell," avoid opinion, care not what the neighbors think, never mind the unguessable "verdict of history" — what are the facts, and to how many decimal places? You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your single clue. Get the facts!"

So let's look at the pretty statement in detail.

"the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow"

OK right off, this sounds somewhat messianic. Last guy rumored to have power over ocean levels was Moses. Does Sen. Obama really equate himself with biblical saviors?

And now the facts.

Fact:There are castles in Britain that were built on the coast. Many of these are now high and dry, hundreds of yards to miles inland. Why? The sea levels fell for hundreds of years. And these are not Iron Age timber forts, but Medieval stone castles. Less than 1000 years old.

Fact: Also some of the receding glaciers have revealed lost human settlements from hundreds to a thousand years ago.

Fact: There were no IC engines, no coal plants, no nuke plants and no industrialization back then.

Therefore sea levels were much higher hundreds of years ago, and have fallen and risen, with other evidence showing many, many times without human intervention.

Therefore, climate change is not human based, and human intervention will be ineffective, let alone unwise.

Let's move on to the second clause:

"our planet began to heal"

Heal? Webster's defines heal as "to restore to health".

If health needs to be restored then the body in question is either injured or not at ease, AKA diseased.

An injured body has been assailed by another body or force. And disease is caused by poisons if the cause be chemical, or a pathogen it the cause is biologic.

So just what is he talking about?

Has the planet been assailed by an asteroid or comet that I missed? Don't think so. We have had a few severe natural occurrences, but we have always had those. And they are, by definition, NATURAL. Part of the planet.

Has there been a chemical attack on the planet from outside? Must have missed that one too.

So we are left with a pathogen causing a disease on the planet. Nothing has come from space when I last looked so it must be native to the planet. Now what could he mean?

Cockroaches? Mosquitoes? Elephants? Probably not.

The best I can figure, he means US. People. Humans. You and me.

Some believe that Humans are inherently good, with just a few that go astray.

Some believe that Humans are inherently evil.

But I never truly believed that anybody thought of us as pathogens. Freaky. And damn scary.

Heinlein said the way to spot those believers was that they lovingly praised dams built by beavers, for a beaver's own purpose and benefit, while deploring dams built by humans for human benefit.

As a medical man, I know that to heal a diseased patient with pathogens, one should eliminate the pathogen. And that's us, in this case.

This one line, and the speech in general, cause me concern.

This line is,at best, we hope, a meaningless political platitude. At worst, it is both suicidal and genocidal.

And this is the speech he chose to give. There are three possibilities:

1) He didn't read it beforehand. Is that the behavior we want in a President?

2) He read it, but didn't think about it. Again, not too desirable.

3) He read it, thought about it, and truly means it. Enter Rod Serling.

Oh, there is a fourth possibility.

"This isn't the (speech/person/statement/community) I know" See Rezko, Wright, Dorn, Ayers, etc, ad. nauseum.

I found this speech very disparaging of my species. Think I ought to report him to the Canadians?

The Naked Emperor

After the Cut

Well, obviously, I survived.

And they also cut the right, er, CORRECT leg.

I just got home, and the wife is fixing me a big breakfast to make up for the one I missed today. Not bad. Six hours from admit to home. And the Orthopod said it all went well. Damn, my speller circuit and my typer circuit are REALLY off today.

Some observations.

They make you shave your own leg. Never done that before. And they have a TINY clipper with changeable blades to use. Might need to find one for the housecall practice.

They didn't seem to take offense at the "CUT HERE" and "NOT HERE!" above the appropriate knees.

I did get concerned when the gas passer was talking about "putting you to sleep". I had to explain that "putting to sleep" means a WHOLE OTHER Thing to a Vet. He then was a bit more precise in his verbiage. I was very relieved.

Now, I get to endure enforced immobility for a while, followed by medical torture.

But on the good side I get Jello. I like Jello.

It's cute, wiggly, you can't nail it down, there's really not much to it, and it melts if you raise the heat. Kind of like Obama.

And like Jello, Obama too will pass.

Damn, I'm pretty conciliatory today. Must be the drugs.

Now that we've eaten, thenakedempress will re-ice my knee, and then go out to pick up dessert.

And what would that be?

Yup. Vicodin. Delicious, nutritious, and makes Presidential races MUCH more tolerable.

I drink rarely, so I've never been able to "drunk-blog" a debate or suchlike. But now I'll be on Vicodin.

Does anybody know of an event in the next few days that I could "loaded blog"?

Oh, another down side. I can't take a shower until Friday. I've always aspired to be a dirty old man, but I didn't mean LITERALLY. If you send flowers, I just might make them wither and die by Friday.

Well, time to hobble outside for a smoke.

Back later,

The Naked Emperor

09 June 2008

Making the Cut

Before we get into the gristle of today's topic, a brief aside is in order.

When I write, I try to follow facts to logical conclusions. By doing that I'm not very terse, and can ramble on a bit. I've been told by some that I write well.

But sometimes, just a single line of sarcasm works much, much better than my long essays.

Today, I was showing thenakedempress a story on the web saying that over one quarter of the population of New York City has genital herpes. Her instantaneous response:

"And these are the people worried about trans-fat?"


But on we go.

"This really ain't the place or time,
To reel off rhyming diction;
Yet we'll write a final rhyme,
While awaiting Crucifiction."

Harry Morant

The reason for the title of today's drivel is because, at dawn tomorrow, I go under the knife.

Nothing too dramatic, just an arthroscopic meniscectomy. Assuming all goes well, I should be home by afternoon.

But it still worries me.

I haven't been under general anesthesia since Ed White made the first spacewalk. (Google that to discover that I'm an old fart) And I have seen, albeit rarely, fatal idiosyncratic anesthesia reactions. But gas passing has probably progressed since the Gemini program.

I know that the odds of anything that bad happening to me are extremely small. I just have to be ready in case of that eventuality.

Actually, what has a greater chance of going wrong is for them to cut the wrong leg. Unfortunately my MRI was mis-labeled. It says it was on my left knee, but the problem, and the MRI, were on the right. No Problem. I'm just going to write "CUT HERE" in large, friendly letters on my right thigh.

OK, there's a teensy weensy chance that today could be my last. So what to do?

Well, I determined that if it were to be my last, it would be a great day.

I worked ER down in Houma until 7 AM, and helped a bunch of patients. I then drove home, and had a great wife breakfast, then a nap. I decided to keep the clinic closed this afternoon and cut the yard. A shower and a typically great dinner at home. Later the wife suggested we go to Sonic for a malt.

In short, nothing special about today. And yet everything special about the day.

I once read something about telling someone they had 24 hours to live, and wondering what they would do. The moral was that a happy man would just do what he does every day. I guess this means I'm damn happy.

Only one thing left to do, and I'm doing it.

In the movie about Harry Morant, "Breaker Morant", the star asks the Padre to get his last poem, the one above, published. The quote is "We poets do crave immortality".

I guess bloggers do too.

Okay, I've admitted I'm a bit afraid. But this is also a bit different fear experience. When I was in and out of New Orleans after the storm, I was also afraid.

But that was not the same as now. I certainly had much more to fear then. I knew it was there. But I just had to put it out of my mind, I frankly didn't have the time for it. I was just too busy doing what I had to do. And we didn't know what would happen when, you just kept going.

Now, I've had the luxury, or curse, of knowing what will happen and at what time. It's kind of annoying. I just want this damn thing over with.

After the surgery, I'll be shackled here at the house for a couple of weeks. Boredom will probably lead to a productive time for blogging.

I'll also have to undergo PT. I'm supposed to be seeing the best local guy. But dammit, it's a guy. If somebody is going to get paid to torture me, couldn't it be a pretty girl in a leather bustier?

In keeping with my reputation for inappropriate responses to situations, I've also been thinking about my situation and the movie "The Princess Bride".

After Westley has defeated Andre' the Giant, he tells the passed out Andre', "Rest well, and dream of large women". Wouldn't it be cool if, as I'm going under anesthesia, the gas passer would tell me to "Sleep well, and dream of large breasted women". Beat the snot out of that counting backwards crap, wouldn't it?

Oh, assuming I'm alive tomorrow, I offer this caveat.

You know that I'm just the teensiest bit, oh, weird. Tomorrow, I'll be just a weird, but also on pain meds. You've been warned!!!

The Naked ( and Limping ) Emperor

08 June 2008

The Gospel According to the Founders

Over the last few days, I've been reading about Sen. Obama's positions on gun control.

When answering such serious questions, I find it handy to pull up a copy of the Constitution, and try to put myself in the Founder's place.

The main body of the Constitution is concerned with the organization and powers of the federal government. But the founders wouldn't pass it.

Why? Well it said what the Feds were able to do but it didn't say a word about what they were NOT allowed to do.

Remember that these people had just been through a tyrannical king and fought a very bloody and long war for their liberty.

They had witnessed first hand the excesses of government. And paid, in blood, to be free from those excesses, no mater what government it was.

And they were trying something VERY radical. A democratic Republic. Never been tried before.

These guys had a lot of horse sense.

Before you trust a potentially wild horse, it's a good idea to put hobbles on it.

So they came up with the bill of rights, and the Constitution was passed. Hopefully, a government that could NOT go to excess. But in case it did, they built in a safety valve.

As I said, these boys were not just smart but wise too.

So lets read these Amendments.

(This being Sunday, perhaps I should say "A Reading form the Constitution, Amendments 1 through 2".)

Amendment 1: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

This nation was "Conceived in liberty" as Mr. Lincoln so eloquently put it. But not just physical liberty. Liberty of the spirit and of the mind as well.

You are allowed to worship as you want and think what you want, and express those ideas however you want. Paint a painting. Write a pamphlet or book. Carry placards. Or even, dare I say (Dare, Dare!) blog.

Notice this amendment doesn't say a word about "politically correct" speech, or "popular speech". Saying what the "in" crowd likes hardly needs protecting. But unpopular speech does.

It makes no exception for "hate speech". If I find your candidate too tall, and I express that, that idea is a freedom purchased for me (and you!) with the blood of patriots. It means freedom for all, Not just your views.

Perhaps the First Amendment could be better thought of as "Freedom of Ideas".

And immediately behind it follows the 2nd Amendment:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Notice it does not say the right of the state or portion of government to keep and bear arms.

It says the right of the people. You. Me.

This is the safety valve.

Remember that it was the people who rose up against tyranny, not the Feds. They didn't even exist back then.

At the time, the people here were armed with weapons equal to, and in some cases superior to that of the tyrannical power.

The 2nd Amendment means the ultimate veto over tyranny, not from a foreign prince or potentate, but from our own government should it turn tyrannical.

It says nothing about "may not", or "only if we feel like it". It says the right of the people to not just keep arms, but to bear arms, SHALL NOT be infringed.

It doesn't mention "Assault Weapons", or hunting, or sporting purposes, or crime.

It was intended to keep the population well armed, with military capable weapons, to defend our liberty, should our government get too big for it's britches.

Let's look back at the 1st Amendment.

What good is freedom of thought and expression, if at any time and place they choose, the government can decide that they object to your ideas and either chuck you in prison or kill you?

If you can not defend your right to free expression, then it is worthless.

I have chosen to accept the gift of free expression from my forefathers. And I also accept the responsibility of defending it, with my own life if necessary.

Please reread these Amendments.

On these two hang all the law and the liberties.

Here endeth the epistle.

The Naked Emperor

06 June 2008

A Crisis Of Leadership, Not Energy

Today, I bought gas.

I sought to fill up B.B., my Dodge Ram. But I couldn't. It seems that gas stations limit you to $75 worth of gas. And I was sucking fumes. So no fill up. And this has been going on for a couple of weeks.

Funny how nobody has said anything about it.

When I was there, I paid $3.74 per gallon, relatively cheap. Fortunately for me, Murphy's and Racetrac try to outdo each other on low pricing.

So why am I paying so much?

That's easy. Supply and demand. Even Democrats know this. Thats why Chuck Schumer tried to threaten the Saudis into increasing supply , and Bush has tried begging them into increasing supply. Increase supply and prices will drop.

I'm also curious why we're paying so much when Speaker Pelosi said the Democrats had a plan over two years ago to lower prices. When she said that, we were paying, on average $2.31 per gallon.

You know my love of inconvenient math.

Let's see. The Dems have controlled Congress for almost two years. In that time, gas prices have risen over 50%. Nice "commonsense plan", huh? How's that working out for you?

So OK, we need to increase supply to drop the prices. But why do we have to either threaten other nations or go begging to them?

Why not just increase our domestic supply?

Oh, that's right, it's illegal to do so.

You see, this same Congress that's posturing on gas prices, are the very ones limiting domestic oil production.

By law, we can't drill off the Atlantic coast. But no problem. Uh oh, they've also made it illegal to drill off the Pacific coast. Now I'm worried. We're also not allowed to drill in the huge reserve in ANWAR. Now I'm despairing. Congress just decided that we can't convert shale to oil, AGAIN. And we can't drill in the eastern Gulf of Mexico.

Hell even the Chinese can drill there, but Congress says it's illegal for Americans

That only leaves my area, the western Gulf.

I know, I know. It's the "Environment". Funny how all those rigs off our coast did just fine through Ivan, Rita, Katrina and other major storms without a major spill.

We don't have a crisis in gas prices, we have a willful design by Democrats in Congress to impede the free market.

Look, folks, I don't care how "green" you claim to be. This nation uses, and needs energy. You need energy for your laptop and your blackberry and your blu-ray, for your washer and dryer, and fuel to get you to work and to transport food to your local store and for private jets to go to Global Warming conferences around the world.

So where do we get it?

Nuclear? Do you really think that the environmental types would let us build Nuke plants? Even though they produce 80% of the electricity for the French?

Increasing our domestic oil? Look at the above. The Democrats WANT us in the pockets of the Royal House of Saud. Does the phrase 18 of 19 mean anything to you? Hell, we haven't even been able to get a new refinery built for over 30 years.

Coal? Clean coal is well proven but, again, the environmental movement denies us.

Alternative? You must be kidding. It's not well proven, not terribly economical, and even pro-environmental lawmakers, like Ted Kennedy, don't want it. The nation might need the energy, but it's not worth spoiling Kennedy's view of yacht races.

OK, we're not going to get any more energy.

So what to do? Conserve?

Dr. Timothy Leary told people in the 60's ( we know how you loved that decade! ) to "tune in, turn on, and drop out"

Now, if you're truly "green", you should turn off, walk on, and grow up.

Don't take offense.

Turn off? What I mean is you should totally eliminate electricity from you life. No laptop. No cellphone. No A/C. No refrigeration. No heat. No TV. No washer. No dryer. No hair dryer. Nothing. Forget compact flourescent. No light at all. And no phone. And no online shopping.

It is possible to do this. I, and many others did this, involuntarily, for a few weeks after Katrina. Try it for a year or two.

Walk on? Sell your car. Don't accept rides. No internal combustion at all. And no horses, they produce methane. If you can't walk there, you just don't go. And no bikes either, there's a lot of energy used in their production, and a lot of greenhouse gases released when the metal is refined.

Grow up? No this isn't a personal assessment. I mean grow your own food. Odds are, you won't be able to get all you need if you can't ride to work, and thereby have cash to spend at a market, even if there is one within walking distance. So you will have to grow your own.

For the vast majority of you who have never done a food garden or farm, I need to tell you that it takes more land than you think, and a LOT more effort. Oh, and no cheating with pesticides, most are derived from crude oil. And only hand tools, no sneaking about with tillers either. And the same rules about horses and other beasts of burden apply.

Of course you'll need more land with just plant production, since eating animals violates animal rights.

So if you want to be energy free, there is a name for it. It's called the 12th century. But that's OK.

That's just when Ahmadinejad and Bin Laden want to go back to, to re-establish thier Caliphate.

Is that what you really want?

If so, don't call me (oops, no phone) when your child freezes (no sneaky cutting the forest for fuel! ) or dies of heat stroke ( hundreds do in every Chicago heat wave ) or dies of cholera ( no diesel to transport vaccines or medicines and no refrigeration to keep them cold ) or dies of starvation like millions do every year where they have almost no energy.

If this doesn't appeal to you, then we need ENERGY.

We need to start drilling offshore and in ANWAR and the Bakken Reserve NOW. We need to start building refineries NOW. We need new Nuclear Plants NOW.

I'd love to see alternative energy. But having the government starving an energy hungry people and nation is not the way to get it.

Government didn't displace firewood as a fuel. Free enterprise did. It was called coal. Not a perfect solution, but better than firewood. Free enterprise brought us petroleum to replace coal and whale oil. Not perfect again, but again, an improvement. Then free enterprise found a way to turn nuclear to peaceful means. Talk about turning swords into plowshares. It is cleaner than coal or oil, but government stepped in.

And they've been stepping all over our energy industry ever since.

One day, hopefully in my lifetime, industry will find a better alternative. Not government, but industry. Not some freegan, but industry. Only they have the tools to do the job.

All they lack is the will. And that's understandable. Why pour billions upon billions into research when you know that government just might take away all your work by nationalizing the new industry?

Government should stop scapegoating productive people and let them get on with, well PRODUCING.

Oh, and those eeeevil oil companies and their huge profits? Just remember that the Feds make almost four times as much per gallon as the oil companies do. So who's gouging here?

the Naked Emperor

05 June 2008

Change and Charisma

One of the major slogans for Democratic Nominee Obama is "Change You Can Believe In".

From what I recall, the Chinese character for "change" is a combination of the character for "opportunity" and character for "danger".

And surely any change can be either an opportunity or a danger.

When I look to change, I look for specifics. The more specifics, the greater the opportunity. The less specifics, the greater the danger.

Now when I hear great platitudes from Sen. Obama with little specifics, I start to get nervous.

One of Sen. Obama's great strengths is his charisma.

But my knowledge of the history of charismatic leaders is a bit troubling.

In my lifetime, we've had two fairly charismatic Presidents. Reagan and Clinton.

Reagan still stands the test of time well. Clinton fares far less well. Hell, even half of Democrats have turned their backs on him now, only eight years since he left office.

In European history there have been a few VERY charismatic leader in the last couple of centuries.

Napoleon, Hitler and Mussolini.

What do they all have in common? Someone or something to blame.

The oddest was Reagan. He blamed government, and said we could change that. He believed in US, not the government.

All the others found either internal or external enemies, and decided that government was the solution.

For Clinton, it was the evil rich and corporations who didn't fund him, or the mythical "vast right wing conspiracy". Fortunately he wasn't all that charismatic or effective.

The other three were VERY charismatic and effective.

They took their citizens desire for "change" and desire for government solutions, and enslaved their nations to their will. Notice that all three were freely elected. Also notice that all three became leaders of republics. (And yes, Virginia, America is NOT a democracy, it is a republic) By the end, all three were in charge of brutal dictatorships.

Also notice that the people willingly gave up their liberty for "change". Napoleon, Hitler, and Mussolini used their charisma to get into power. All the evidence of their intentions was there for those who weren't blinded by charisma.

So now, we have a very, very charismatic candidate for the Presidency. And it frightens me.

His followers literally pass out at his events, like he were some rock star.

Listen people, you are not here to worship ANY candidate. You have a job to do. A responsibility entrusted to you by millions of dead heroes who gave their lives for this republic, your liberty and you.

And what is this job?

You are the employer here in a democratic republic. And it's time to decide on a new leader. Would you be star struck if you had to interview job applicants for you business?

If the HR department of your employer swooned and hired the first pretty face they saw, would you want to trust that person?

People it's your responsibility to examine, in detail, each applicant for the job.

Does what they say make sense? What are the details of what they propose to do with the job? What are their accomplishments? Are they credible? Did they pad their resume'? They will be asked to bring on staff. Do they have a good record of being a good judge of character for their associates?

Only when you have researched these things YOURSELF should you decide. Don't take the word of the media, or a neighbor, or co-worker, or person in line at the grocery. And don't take MY word. Only trust yourself.

And only when you have answered the above should you make a decision.

But for me, right now, Obama scares me.

The Naked Emperor

04 June 2008

Hillary, the Gorilla

OK, just put your emotions on hold and turn your brains on. None of this is meant or is to be taken as sexist.

But right now, Hillary Clinton isn't just a female candidate. She's the 800 pound gorilla sitting in the room.

Last night, according to most reports, Obama clinched the nomination for the Democrats. As the first black to do so, that SHOULD have been the big news.

But it wasn't.

All eyes were on Clinton.

Will she concede? Will she just suspend her campaign? Will she file suit? Will she run as an Independent?

Neither Obama nor McCain are driving the election. Clinton is.

Now it's come out from some of her staffers that she'd "accept" the VP slot.

This is win/win for Clinton.

If it's offered, it will be herself that made the decision, not the presumptive nominee. She would be perceived as the stronger of the two. She wins.

If it isn't offered, many of her voters may stay home or vote McCain, leaving Obama high and dry. This could well lead to a McCain rout. She will be well positioned to "Told you so" for 2012. She wins.

For Obama, it's lose/lose. If he refuses her, he will piss off millions of loyal Clinton supporters, and probably lose. It may be a generation before another black is nominated.

If he choses her, his weakness is apparent. And it gets even worse. We all know that Clinton is a tough competitor. And a rival. Having her in his inner circle is like holding a wolf by the ears. And she'll bring her husband, a well known loose cannon. If he isn't in government, he can do whatever he likes. The only way to control him would be to give him a position. But would he accept a demotion? With his ego?

If we get even more conspiratorial, Would you want to be the one man between Clinton and her dearest ambition? If she's VP, she will literally be a heartbeat away from the Presidency. And Obama, being young and black would make a great martyr for the Democrats. I know he has to have this on his mind.

In other words she's in the driver's seat for the election.

Her actions, will determine the election. If she's the VP, the democrats win. If she just sits at home and stays quiet, they lose. She could also choose to run as an Independent. McCain would win, but Clinton's platform would control the Democrat's agenda for a generation.

For Democrats this is a case of too much of a good thing all at once.

Nomination the first black candidate is a victory for them. Having a Democrat woman control the election is a victory for them. But both at once will likely cost them the election.

The Naked Emperor

02 June 2008

Personal Update

Well, I just haven't had much to say for a few months, or time to pay too much attention to the news.

So far the new practice is going well. I've been doing a lot of promotional things, and thenakedempress has compared me with Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton. In the last two weeks I've been interviewed on the radio once, been interviewed for a column, held a Grand Opening with the Mayor of Hammond, which was also in the paper, and featured in a newsletter.

I guess I'm growing into a media whore. I just need some catchy slogans. How about "If your dog has a loose def-e-cate, you forgot to vac-ci-nate!"

I'm still very new to business. Some days, medicine seems easy compared to running a business. Lawyers, accountants, suppliers, licensing, marketing, networking. I'm still treading in these waters, but am learning how to swim here.

Since I last wrote, I brought home my 15 year old clinic cat, and had to euthanize him for renal failure. I've blown out my knee, and will be scoped on the 10th of June. Maybe I'll blog more with forced recovery from that. Thenakedempress has been exercising and has lost 40 pounds. I'm very proud of that.

I've also become rather active in my community now that my professional life is here too. I'm very active in 3 Chambers of Commerce, and on the Team City Committee for one community.

Does this make me a "community activist" like Mr. Obama? If so, then why haven't I been able to get wealthy off it like he did?

I've also been getting more into local music. Right now, in the Amite area there are three acts I highly recommend.

Will Vance, who just returned from Nashville is very talented and can create great lyrics on the spot. Will can be found here:

Chris Grey, who I don't know and don't know much about. He's a former sailor on the Battleship Missouri, and really knows how to get the audience into the act. He does covers, but has a lot of damn good original music. Try "Red White and Blue", you'll probably like it. I need to go see him more. He's at

And last, but certainly not least, is The Greg Hayden Band. I've known Greg a while. He's got a good voice and is a very talented lyricist. His song "Dignity" is very moving and defiant. I hear he has another CD coming out in the fall. In the band is a rather young man named Damien who does the backup vocals. I sure hope he decides to sing professionally, he'll go very far. Find him at

Again, I apologize for the hiatus. I guess I got so disappointed in our choices for President this year that I just tuned out for a while. Now, I think I'm just pissed off enough to take up the keyboard again. I hope I'm more regular in the future.

The Naked Emperor

01 June 2008

Fuzzy Math

Yesterday, the Democrats decided that the delegates for Michigan and Florida would only get a half a vote each at the convention. Therefore the Democrat voters in those states are only worth 1/2 of what voters in other states are worth.

This is hardly news.

This is the party that favored slavery, Jim Crowe, grandfather clauses, and thought that blacks were worth 3/5 of a white man.

Now blacks in Michigan are only worth 1/2 of a white man in New York or California.

Congratulations, Black Democrats!!! In all the years since Republicans passed the 19th Amendment, Democrats have devalued you from 3/5, or 60%, to 1/2, or 50%. Boy, do the Democrats value your loyalty.

Funny how a black Republican is automatically called "Uncle Tom". But the leading Black Democrat today was fighting to reduce your value even more, just for his own political purposes. Where are the cries of "O'Tom-a"?

One Democrat candidate, who agreed to the rules, was fighting to change them in the middle of the game. So if the Democrats try to posture on law and order, basically rules, we know that they don't really believe in it. Especially when the rules are attempted to be applied to them.

The other Democrat candidate did not want millions of voters to have a say in the party's nomination, just because they went for the first candidate. So "Count every Vote" only applies if they are votes in your favor. Florida wasn't based on principle, just an attempt by the Democrats to steal an election, as they have now shown.

These positions by the only contenders show that BOTH candidates only believe their own statements when it favors them, not you. I.E., they're both just bullshitting you.

And now the rules committee has decided a "halfway" solution. This is the worst thing they could have done.

If they had decided the issue one way, the Democrats would be branded political opportunists, to whom rules mean nothing.

If they went the other way, the Democrat reputation would be disenfranchisisng legal voters.

By deciding the way they did, both apply, and more. Now, they are not only rampant opportunists, not only disenfranchising at will if the voters disagree with party hierarchy, but also too weak to make a damn decision.

Let's see. They'll ignore the will of the people for their own gain. They'll break the rules for personal gain. And they can't make a decision.

I know many Democrat voters do not like America. But unless you plan on relocating, you'll be living here. Are these the people you want being your political Lords and Masters for four years?

As an Independent, I find nothing here worth supporting.

I didn't think that in this day and age we would have an allegedly mainstream political party would be deciding that one voter is equal to anything but one voter, regardless of race, gender, or location.

I think I'll just go shake my head in disappointment.

The Naked Emperor